Yesterday, my son’s baseball team won their last game of the regular season–against a team that whooped them earlier in the year, too. The victory had the team of 10 and 11-year olds jumping around and high-fiving each other. It seemed like a gratifying moment for everyone.
However, my husband left the field feeling a bit defeated. As the head coach of the little league team, it’s his job to teach fundamental skills, create the roster, schedule practices and try his best to give all the kids–the skilled and unskilled–an overall good experience. Now, I know my husband: he is calm, fair, even-tempered and really focuses on teaching the kids great plays and teamwork. I know this because I’ve been married to him for 12 years and envy his patience–in the classroom, with our kids and other activities he’s involved in. Over the past week, he has had to deal with some criticism about his coaching skills and decisions he’s made in the game. After last night’s game, a parent handed in his son’s jersey and said they won’t be at the tournament because his son didn’t get enough playing time. A few days prior, he and the assistant coach had a difference in opinion which I think caused a rift between them.
This puzzled Jack. He thought he’s been making good decisions and leading the team to many successful games. He thought he had been fair and overall, he’s taken his job seriously; he feels he’s doing his best.
I told him, “Honey, it just plain sucks being a leader and making decisions.” Trust me; I’m one who knows. I’m in my third year of being a school board member and I’ve been a manager for over two years now. I remember feelings of anxiety because I knew some of my positions and ideas weren’t what everyone wanted. I struggled to do my best to make everyone happy until I came to the realization, that I never will. Ever.
Every morning I’ve been listening to MPR on my hour drive to Duluth, and I’ve paid close attention to the recent Minnesota government shutdown. Both sides of the platform have been steadfast in their positon about balancing the budget and both have their own arguments and ideas as to the best way to get the job done. After two weeks of shutdown, businesses are struggling, workers are unemployed and the government is losing tons of revenue. People are out of beer for God’s sake! Yesterday, Mark Dayton announced he was going to compromise. Some people are supportive, and many criticize his decision to ‘give in’ to the other side.
Now, I’ll come right out and say it: balancing the budget on the backs of MN schools to me is just horrible. And I could certainly go off about school finance state policy, but I’ll save that for another time. I have my own ideas about what the government should do, and there are certainly people who will disagree with me. But, guess what? When there’s a huge financial problem, no decision is going to be pretty. And the people in charge of making those decisions must bear the criticisms and disagreements of their peers and constituents. I am not envious of those people, because I know damn well, it’s a lot easier to solve the worlds problems at the local watering hole, than it is to actually get involved and DO something about it. Taking a leadership position means you will most likely lose friends, create enemies, have your name spewed across the media, be attacked on the internet and deal with an increase of stress that is less than healthy.
I’ve heard a lot of people say, “They need to do their jobs.” Yet, the job they are tasked with is so complicated and messy, it’s truly hard to know WHAT TO DO. I’m sure many of them are physically sick as they try to figure it out and they know that people will hate them for whatever decision is made.
People will criticize Mark Dayton, the Republicans, the Democrats, the congress, the president, the mayor and the little league coach. People will claim they have the answer. People will get angry and upset and blame the other guy. People will struggle to understand, “Why can’t they see things my way? I’ve thought about this long and hard, and I know I’m right!” People will disagree and argue until the end of the term, the end of the season and the end of the world.
In the meantime, solutions must emerge and shit has to get done.
Last night, as I was consoling my husband, I told him this: “Jack. You’re a good coach. I’m a good school board member. The reality is, we’ve stepped up to the plate (no pun intended) and whenever we decide to lead, we must simply accept that there are people who will be angry, resentful, upset and critical. It’s just part of the job. So, you either sit from the sidelines and think about “how you would do things” or you ‘DO THINGS.” We do the best we can, and if some people have a problem with that, eh…they can piss off.”
